Take a Deetour

"I write to find out what I think." - Joan Didion

Monday, February 20, 2006

Seeing Red

Today has been a surreal day of exertion & exploration. I feel like I've just returned from a quest of mystical proportions. Probably because it’s beyond my comprehension how I let myself get talked into going in the first place. Miss D has plumbed the depths of dementia by plunging head first into the bewildering chaos known as the Heartland - all in hopes of purchasing a plastic stool. Yes, you read me. PLASTIC. STOOL.

The mothership had foot surgery this morning and needs a cheap, waterproof seat in the bath. Filial offspring that I am, I set off on said brave quest. Plastic stool? No problem. I was sure I’d find something simple. Tasteful. Grey. That’s when the problems began. Clementi Central was the first stop. Amid the uncles spitting out blender demos in Hokkien and the 10-bras-for-$20 sales, I stumbled upon XXXX Enterprise, which was next to YYYY Enterprise, which in turn was next to ZZZZ Enterprise, and found what I was looking for. Thinking to myself, “What an enterprising lot these shopkeepers are”, I noticed the stools only came in red. Pounding the scorching pavements and scouring the shops of Clementi, it finally dawned on me that stools only came in two styles. Red and plastic.

Now, red and plastic are, in all probability, the worst combination since shoulder pads and bubble skirts, headbands and teased fringes, Liza Minelli and David Guest… Unless of course, you’re into fetish gear. But please understand, we’re talking stools here! Stools that would in no way match the parentals' black and yellow bathroom. Ironically, the half-dozen or so coffee shops surrounding me were filled with the exact grey plastic stools I needed. Undefeated, I drove to Ghim Moh only to find the same red plastic situation going on there. Defeated at last, I handed over $10 and brought the offending plastic posterior propper home to mom, where it’s been doing its job. Fugly-ly.

2 humps in my highway:

At 11:16 pm, Blogger JellyGirl said...

The kopi tiams must be getting their high-crass grey stools from some secret grey stool distributor! heehee.

At 2:50 am, Blogger Deetourguide said...

Teehee, I osso say!


humps in my highway

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