Take a Deetour

"I write to find out what I think." - Joan Didion

Tuesday, August 16, 2005

Sticks and Stones

#1 So I use a Mac and I surf the internet with Safari. My blog finally looks the way I want it. I've spent days, tweaking, refining, testing my new-found html skills, getting near carpal tunnel syndrome and going googly-eyed from staring at my laptop screen for hours on end, then sitting back and enjoying the visual fruits of my labour.

Imagine my shock, disgust and complete frustration when friends start telling me my blog looks like, well, a pile of kaka. I whined, griped, whinged, called people, whined somemore and finally realised the problem lies with the kind of web browsers people use. As one Mac covert proclaimed to me, "Safari is way too powerful and advanced for the rest of 'em."

Whoopdeedoo and a can of whipped cream. Proud Mac user that I am, this, the problem does not solve. So I attempt to tweak the blog via other more mainstream, recommended browsers. I fell asleep last night doing this tweak job. I woke up and continued said tweakage. All I can say is all that tweaking brought more problems. But I won't bore you with the details. Which, is my next point.

After griping for an entire weekend, yesterday and most of today to Ms.G about my techie woes, she finally sternly messages me on MSN:

G: You know what you are?

Me: Enlighten me.

G: You're a GORK!!!

Me: Uh huh?

G: A cross between a GEEK and a DORK.

Me: Thank you! *smiley face*

G: It wasn't a compliment. I can't believe you took it as a compliment! You really are a Gork!!!

Nah. I'm worse that that. I'm a wannabe! Even hours later, I find myself obsessively tweaking away, humming a familiar tune. Suddenly, Winds of Change by Scorpions has taken on hilarious new meaning. If Gork was a real word, they'd be singing about a Russian park where nerds meet to talk tech.

#2 A few days ago, Ms. Y sent me a text telling me what she was bringing for the weekend pot luck party and I knew it was some sort of chicken dish, so when the text read BIBLEO stew, I assumed it was some fancy name for a fancy dish.

So I was surprised to receive another SMS today from Ms. Y, helpfully informing me I had mislabled one of the food pictures at Dias Deliciosos.

"It's not BIBLEO stew, it's chicken stew." said the text message.

But... but... I thought to myself, isn't that the atas name for her dish? Didn't she text it to me herself? After pondering this, it hit me. You try typing "chicken" very quickly on your mobile phone using predictive text. "Bibleo" is what you get if you miss out on either the letter "h" or "i". Excellent display of super-sleuthing, I gleefully concluded. Mystery solved.

Actually, not quite. I'm afraid I had to. Just had to. I googled "bibleo". It's Latin for "book".

Hmmm... bibleo... book... bookworm... nerd... geek... dork... gork...

Deetourguide, mac user and proud gork, ready for a nice big bowl of book stew.

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2 humps in my highway:

At 3:25 pm, Blogger JellyGirl said...

I have to say though, you are totally inspiring me to redo my blog layout! First things first, have to try to change that 'Comments' tag! :)

At 12:26 am, Blogger Deetourguide said...

JG> Thank you for contacting inspirations 'r us, my dear! Now if only someone could inspire me wrt making my blog look good on all web browers!


humps in my highway

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