Take a Deetour

"I write to find out what I think." - Joan Didion

Monday, August 29, 2005

Dirty Little Secrets

The All-American Rejects are back with their new single Dirty Little Secret. Ok, I confess, I enjoy a little college rock now and again. And their music video spoke to me.






I am a Bloody Mary

A fairly serious drinker, who's experimented a lot with different drinks.
A drunk, but a stable drunk who never lets drinking get out of control.
What Mixed Drink Are You?
















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Sunday, August 28, 2005

Shooting from the Hip

Bits and Pieces of the Weekend








Tickley Earwigs*
Whilst watching Bring it On 2 on cable:
(In your best bitchy Valley Girl accent) So it's time for you to make like Tom, and Cruise.

Says 3-year-old Niece cheekily to Grand Auntie, hours after a nasty supermarket trolley collision that cut her near the eye:
I am good girl. I have blood.

Standing on the beach:
T: I can't frolic in the water unless I have company!
Me: What do you call me?!
T: You? You private limited, lah.



*The Oxford English Dictionary states unequivocally that the name is derived from Old English words for ear and wiggle "from the notion that it penetrates into the head through the ear".


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Saturday, August 27, 2005

Luscious Lemon Layer Cake























































I say again, I don't like sweets. But I do like the idea of sweets.

Inspired by yet another yummy mummy, Ms. Y, who baked the most scrummy lemon layer cake, I had to attempt recreating her creative cakery. So I went grocery shopping and bought all kinds of supplies to embark on my own cunning confectionary caper. With erm, very different results.

Where Ms. Y's cake was light and fluffy and melt-in-your-mouth-good, mine turned out like a brick - biscuity on the outside, dense and heavy on the inside. Maybe next time, I need to follow the instructions exactly. Maybe next time, I'll use an electric mixer, instead of a blender(?!). Bah.

Embarrassingly, I was so proud of my first attempt at baking, that I actually presented said cake to Ms. S as a birthday present. Note to self: next time, taste-test IMPERATIVE.

However, in the spirit of sharing - maybe you'll get it right - here's the recipe, adapted from cooks.com:

LUSCIOUS LEMON LAYER CAKE
Ingredients
1/2 c. shortening
1 3/4 c. sugar
6 egg yolks
2 1/2 c. sifted cake flour
2 1/2 tsp. baking powder
1/2 tsp. salt
1 c. plus 3 tbsp. milk
1 tbsp. (or more, according to your taste) grated lemon rind
Method
Cream shortening; add sugar, beating well. Add egg yolks, one at a time, beating at medium speed of an electric mixer.
Combine flour, baking powder, add salt; add to creamed mixture alternately with milk, beginning and ending with flour mixture. Stir in lemon rind.
Pour batter into a greased and floured 9-inch round cake pan. Bake at 180°C for 25-30 minutes or until a wooden pick is inserted in center comes out clean. Remove from oven & cool for 10 minutes; remove cake from pan, and let cool completely.
Cut cake into 2 halves, ready to sandwich the frosting.

LEMON BUTTER CREAM FROSTING
Ingredients
1 (6 oz.) pkg. cream cheese, softened
4 tbsp. butter
1 tsp. lemon extract
2½ c. powdered sugar
Method
Combine cream cheese, butter, lemon extract; electric mix until smooth. Gradually add powdered sugar, beat until light and fluffy.

Sandwich frosting between the 2 cakes-halves and spread remainder on the cake surfaces. Sprinkle more powdered sugar over assembled layer cake, if you have a sugar deathwish.

Et Voila!

Spot the Theme, Man
A movie of the same name that balances all that sticky, girlie sweetness. Not quite Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels, but pretty decent Cockney Gangster fare.


Reality Bites
You're born, you take shit. You get out in the world, you take more shit. You climb a little higher, you take less shit. Till one day you're up in the rarefied atmosphere and you've forgotten what shit even looks like. Welcome to the layer cake, son. - Eddie Temple, Layer Cake

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Friday, August 26, 2005

Ulterior Motive Revealed


OK, OK, so Poll Dancing with Deetour #2 wasn't just an innocent little poll. It was research. And the results, with many humble thanks to the polldancers and to Skrat & Yummy Mumster for comments, here.

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Thursday, August 25, 2005

Yeah, But No, But Yeah, But No, But...

i'm committed to suck.com
I've had a lot of time in recent weeks for self-examination (no new lumps in the chestage, whoo hoo), and have come to several realisations. Realisations, I say, but no conclusions. I don't want to fall into the psycho-analysis trap, but what is this crazy fear of commitment?

Really, I look around me, and see I can't make immediate, decisive choices to complete anything. That is, if I even make it past actually deciding to start something.

My bags and drawers are full of lipsticks and lipglosses that are almost or half-full. I can never stick to one tube till it's all used-up before buying another.

I have a strange aversion toward built-in furniture - give me moveable stuff, things that aren't super-glued, nailed down or fixed in one place.

I've stood in countless car parks with friends, unable to make decisions about where to eat or drink.

And I know what it is - it's the staggering myriad of other choices, the what-if's, maybes, better-than-thises that distract me and cloud my judgement. Am I choosing right? What if I make the wrong decision? What if I can't undo what I've done? What if something better comes along? What if I change my mind? What if other people change their minds?

There's something deplorable about laying down of roots. Something too permanent, too final, too forever... And so I wander, I dream, I wonder...

Yet being in the moment, going with the flow, are all phrases that are too flakey for me. However, stuck in limbo is not a good thing either.

I guess I'm realising things about myself I don't like very much. But knowing realising doesn't exactly translate into believing or changing. Knowing I'm afraid of commitment, yet realising the spontaneous person I thought I was is no more - I don't actually enjoy surprises I can't control - doesn't make me feel any better about my situation. Probably worse.

Self-awareness can be such a bitch.

Maybe I can't commit because it means having to acknowledge that this is the only life I have and I have to live it.

From as far back as I can remember, I've always wanted to be someone, something, somewhere that I'm not.

But it's wasteful to hanker after things unless you make the decision to go after it and make it happen.

And it's ungrateful not to acknowledge the good things in your life. It's misplaced discontentment. And stubborn unwillingless to make the necessary changes.






Vicky Pollard sez, "This fing wot you know nuffin about."


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Wednesday, August 24, 2005

Iceland is but 2 Weeks Away

airview1
jewel/ cleveland

From the air things look so ridiculous
Our fears so small, our fights so vain
I want to pilot a plane with you
So all our problems look small too
It's just an inch from me to you
Depending on what map you use

airview2


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Tuesday, August 23, 2005

Poll Dancing with Deetour #2



Have better hybrids in mind? Tell me!

Monday, August 22, 2005

"You Are Not Opague, You Know?" He Said


quag·mire (kwăg'mīr', kwŏg'-)
n.
Land with a soft muddy surface.
A difficult or precarious situation; a predicament.

A usually low-lying area of soft waterlogged ground and standing water: bog, fen, marsh, marshland, mire, morass, muskeg, quag, slough, swamp, swampland, wetland.
A difficult, often embarrassing situation or condition: box, corner, deep water, difficulty, dilemma, Dutch, fix, hole, hot spot, hot water, jam, plight, predicament, scrape, soup, trouble. Informal bind, pickle, spot.

Español
n. - lodazal, barrial, tremedal, ciénaga

中国话
n. - 沼泽地, 无法脱身的困


How lovely, how apt, how it trips off the tongue!
Not just your everyday, ordinary, run-of-the-mill mire, but (ooooh!) mire of the QUAG order! Mire so quaggy that it demands international interpretive support!

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Friday, August 19, 2005

I See London, I See France...


dirty linens aired


I am not an honest person. I am the Queen of Subterfuge, Duchess of Deception, Undertaker of Untruths, Girl Guide of Guile.


You know when you feel like some evil force has taken over your body and is making spaghetti out of your guts?

You know when your mouth holds your brain hostage and vice versa and both situations are not good?

You know when you have so much to say but it's better not to but if you don't you'll slowly but surely go insane?

You know when you know that you're being completely irrational but can't BE rational?

You know when you wish you had on hand, just like in the movies, a big red emergency button that read: "ABORT" or "SELF-DESTRUCT"?

You know when one look in the mirror, one breath of air, one swallow of food makes you want to smash everything in sight?

You know when you feel like you're slowly bleeding to death? Literally?

You know when you think and rethink everything that's happened and is happening in your life and then doubt it all?

You know when you think so much that everything has an unbearable conspiracy theory-esque quality to it?

You know when the frustrating thing is, it all boils down to hormones but it seems like just a blairdee lame excuse?



That's not how I feel at all.

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Wednesday, August 17, 2005

GORK!

I should've known... Apparently, GORK is a real word.

Take your pick:
1. A baseball term for a softly hit fly ball that lands just beyond the infield.
2. Medical slang for a person with unknown ailments. An acronym for "God only really knows."


Haha. Going by definition #2, guess Ms. G wasn't that off the mark after all.

Tuesday, August 16, 2005

Sticks and Stones


#1 So I use a Mac and I surf the internet with Safari. My blog finally looks the way I want it. I've spent days, tweaking, refining, testing my new-found html skills, getting near carpal tunnel syndrome and going googly-eyed from staring at my laptop screen for hours on end, then sitting back and enjoying the visual fruits of my labour.

Imagine my shock, disgust and complete frustration when friends start telling me my blog looks like, well, a pile of kaka. I whined, griped, whinged, called people, whined somemore and finally realised the problem lies with the kind of web browsers people use. As one Mac covert proclaimed to me, "Safari is way too powerful and advanced for the rest of 'em."

Whoopdeedoo and a can of whipped cream. Proud Mac user that I am, this, the problem does not solve. So I attempt to tweak the blog via other more mainstream, recommended browsers. I fell asleep last night doing this tweak job. I woke up and continued said tweakage. All I can say is all that tweaking brought more problems. But I won't bore you with the details. Which, is my next point.

After griping for an entire weekend, yesterday and most of today to Ms.G about my techie woes, she finally sternly messages me on MSN:

G: You know what you are?

Me: Enlighten me.

G: You're a GORK!!!

Me: Uh huh?

G: A cross between a GEEK and a DORK.

Me: Thank you! *smiley face*

G: It wasn't a compliment. I can't believe you took it as a compliment! You really are a Gork!!!


Nah. I'm worse that that. I'm a wannabe! Even hours later, I find myself obsessively tweaking away, humming a familiar tune. Suddenly, Winds of Change by Scorpions has taken on hilarious new meaning. If Gork was a real word, they'd be singing about a Russian park where nerds meet to talk tech.

#2 A few days ago, Ms. Y sent me a text telling me what she was bringing for the weekend pot luck party and I knew it was some sort of chicken dish, so when the text read BIBLEO stew, I assumed it was some fancy name for a fancy dish.

So I was surprised to receive another SMS today from Ms. Y, helpfully informing me I had mislabled one of the food pictures at Dias Deliciosos.

"It's not BIBLEO stew, it's chicken stew." said the text message.

But... but... I thought to myself, isn't that the atas name for her dish? Didn't she text it to me herself? After pondering this, it hit me. You try typing "chicken" very quickly on your mobile phone using predictive text. "Bibleo" is what you get if you miss out on either the letter "h" or "i". Excellent display of super-sleuthing, I gleefully concluded. Mystery solved.

Actually, not quite. I'm afraid I had to. Just had to. I googled "bibleo". It's Latin for "book".

Hmmm... bibleo... book... bookworm... nerd... geek... dork... gork...

Deetourguide, mac user and proud gork, ready for a nice big bowl of book stew.

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Saturday, August 13, 2005

Poll Dancing with Deetour




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Friday, August 12, 2005

They're the Dim Sum Dollies with Their Trollies...


If you haven't seen them yet, go.

The delicious dollies have extended their show till the end of next week, so no more "sold-out" excuses!

Granted, those spoiled by their fab show last year may say this year's is not as good, the operative word still applies - it's good. I saw it on Wednesday and can testify to quality - despite a shaky start and sound problems.

Maybe I'm biased - maybe I am a drag-queen wannabe - but with miles of lights, shiny disco balls, mountains of glitter, rows of fake eye-lashes, feathers, sequins and half-naked men, what's not to love? Everyone has a little cabaret, a litle showgirl in them!

From poking fun at the NKF fiasco to fat paradodies to food court aunties to the IOC like you've never seen it before, Emma, Pam and Selena are really quite scarily talented. Same goes for Hossan, their fabulous, funny foil.

Go, lah, support-support, Singapore's sizzling ser-lair-brrr-tees, lah!

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Thursday, August 11, 2005

I Fear I'm Turning into a...









From the fabulous illustrator peter arkle

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Wednesday, August 10, 2005

Holy Cow!

this is not it

Having supper at River Valley's Spize, I spied a most unusual dish on the menu. There it was, in bold font:
Bisteak.

Question: is this steak that speaks two languages or steak that swings both ways?

I looked a little further down and found the answer to the second part of the question:
Bisteak Kuah. Haha!

Intrigued, I had to get me some of that.

We were not expecting the mound of toxic-orange slop on a plate that arrived 10 minutes later. On closer inspection, it was a strange mixture of salty, spicy minced mystery meat and a bunch of chopped up veggies, smothered in the usual bright orange sauce that indian-muslim stalls serve. And surprisingly, it was delicious. Kinda like home-cooked comfort food. If only we ordered some rice to go with it.

Of course, in typical geek fashion, I got home and googled it. Nothing. But I did make this mad psychedelic find!

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Tuesday, August 09, 2005

One Singapore Minute

NDP1NDP2


NDP3NDP4


NDP5NDP6


NDP7
A Happy National Day is:

  • Fireworks

  • Friends

  • Pot Luck Partying

  • Welcoming your parents home from Hong Kong and finding out they hand-carried a famous Yung Kee roast goose back for lunch! A chubby coincidence?


  • flickr tag: onesingaporeminute
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    More at Dias Deliciosos

    Monday, August 08, 2005

    Ice Cream for Breakfast

    honeypear tea and dessert
    Now, I don't eat sweets except on special occasions, but this weekend's carb binge with company yielded leftovers that need to be dealt with.
    That's why I find myself on this sunny afternoon eating this for breakfast:

    honey pear tea
    Easy-peasy Japanesey, but soo decadent. Hazelnut gelato sandwiched by large macademia and chocolate cookies. Chill for a couple of hours in the freezer and they're ready to eat.

    icecream sandwichPerfect with Golden Moon's Honey Pear tea, a birthday present from dear, dear Ms. S.

    Bliss.


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    Sunday, August 07, 2005

    The Low Carb Thing is SO Over!

    Spent the entire weekend snarfing yummy carbs as quick as I could cook/ drink/ get my grubby fat fingers on them.

    Saturday night, a case of the Mexican munchies struck, so we pored over Jamie's Dinners - Mr Oliver's version of quesadillas, which he toasts in a pan over the stove without oil. Thus, once again, fooled self into thinking I was making a healthy snack and ate loads. Having a partner in crime always helps with the over-eating. Yes, Ms. G, I'm twarkin' ta yoose! And you too, Ms. Skrat, your new blog inspired me.

    jamie's quesilladasquesadilla
    Quesadilla comparision. L: Jamie's version. R: My version.

    Am particularly proud of my crafty, lazy person's adaptation of the Jamie recipe:

    Ingredients
  • Any kind of melty grated cheese (I used 4 diff. ones - Monterey Jack & Colby, Emmenthal, Mozarella and Parmesan - for a quattro formaggio kinda feeling)
  • Chopped spring onions (chang), as much as you like - I like lots!
  • 1 pack soft flour tortillas
  • Optional: any meat you like (I used left-over stir-fried minced beef with Mexican chilli seasoning added)

  • Super-Easy Assembly-line
  • Grab one flour tortilla, sprinkle thin layer of cheese evenly over surface.
  • Spread a thin layer of your choice of meat over cheese.
  • Sprinkle another thin layer of cheese over meat.
  • Garnish with spring onion.
  • Top with another flour tortilla, creating a tortilla sandwich, pressing down firmly to flatten slightly & pack ingredients tight.
  • Transfer to a non-stick frying pan on low-medium heat and "toast" tortilla without oil.
  • Keep watching and turning to make sure each side gets nicely browned and crisp.
  • Also make sure cheese and meat is thoroughly heated through and oozingly melty.
  • When done how you like, remove from pan, cut into quarters. Serve with salsa, guacamole and sour cream. For extra kick, Tabasco or other like hot sauces a must.

  • According to Jamie, "These Mexican-style stuffed pancakes are great when you've got mates round. They're dead easy to make and just need a bottle of Mexican beer to wash them down!"

    OK, no Mexican beer this time, but the Heineken we had on hand worked just as well.

    Lazy People Rejoice!
  • Buy those ready-grated cheese packs - huge selection @ Cold Storage (even better, Holland Village branch opens 24hrs!)
  • Look in Mexican food section, buy ready-made guacamole and salsa.
  • Don't overstuff the tortillas otherwise you get a burnt outside from letting it sit for too long on the heat, trying to cook the ingredients through. Also, the cheese oozes out all over the pan and burns and creates a mess, which lazy people like us do not appreciate.


  • garlic herb sausagesI also grilled up some naughty little garlic-herb sausages and served everything with lashings of hot sauce and yogurt/ spring onion kettle chips. Glugs of beer finished it all off beautifully.

    So yes, sayonara Dr Atkins, consider this my Dear John letter to you.

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    Saturday, August 06, 2005

    Inane Conversation 101


    It's fun! It's fabulous! It's a total waste of time! And now, you can try it too! Grab a friend, pick a topic and GO!

    Here's a quick and easy template for the verbally hesistant (obviously we chose baked goods as our topic):



    Mr T: You got to roll with it, you know... the Rolling Scones...

    Me: Rolling scones??!! U should be ashamed of yourself.

    Mr T: Don't get worked up over muffin.

    Me: I can't help it. What's bun is bun.

    Mr T: I loaf to hear things like that.

    Me: But I always tart u liked it.

    Mr T: Dough!

    Me: I pie-ty you.

    Mr T: I'll toast to that.

    Me: Will u bake a speech along with that toast?

    Mr T: If that's the yeast I can do.

    Me: Aw, u're a champion, born and bread!

    Mr T: Wheat till you hear me sing!

    Me: Um, I don't think I knead to.


    AND I WIN! Cos after my mighty last sentence Mr T was silenced. Bwahahahahaha.


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    Friday, August 05, 2005

    It's a Sign Part 2

    tokyo foodingdrinksing available too.


    cleverlyaccording to Mr E, whom I stole this from, a very wise choice.


    xmosphereultimate in x-rated ah beng ambiance.


    newdletheir noodles are THAT fresh!


    shahbucksa sarabat stall with higher aspirations.



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    Thursday, August 04, 2005

    Ode to a Pink Smartie

    smarty1
    I found you at the bottom of my bag,
    Whilst looking for housekeys,
    From whence you came, I wondered much
    And in varying degrees.

    smarty2No matter now, what's done is done,
    My bag is now your home.
    I picked you up and stroked your shell
    My mind began to roam.

    smarty3Oh little gem, Oh pink delight,
    I wish that I was you.
    Outside hard but very sweet,
    And inside sweeter goo.

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