Take a Deetour

"I write to find out what I think." - Joan Didion

Sunday, July 31, 2005

Beer Goggles



factWomen who like the taste of beer are MORE likely to cheat on their boyfriends.

I resent that. I LIKE beer.

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Saturday, July 30, 2005

Sonic Festival 2005


GO.

shaking the planet

sf05_btn_80x15



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Friday, July 29, 2005

Shoe Meme Me Shoeshoe Re Fafa La Toetoe

bebebronzebebesilver

When you know the shoe to wear...

Again, the always glam, always fabulously be-shoed JellyGirl has batoned me on a subject ever so close to my heart (& soles, of course). So presenting Deetourguide's Footwear Friday:

fave shoes
Total number of shoes you own:
This is gonna take a while... I'm still counting... check back later.
shoe closet
OK! Here's the breakdown:
  • 25 pairs of flip flops & flat sandals.
  • 100 pairs of platforms, wedges, high-heeled pumps/ sandals and assorted pretty shoes (give or take a few more buried in garbage bags at the bottom of my closet).
  • 7 pairs of psuedo-sporty shoes & cross trainers.




  • The last shoe you bought:
    2 pairs at same time from Two Dogs in MBK, Bangkok. Photos pending... check back later also.
    bkk shoes 1bkk shoes 2
    Tahdah!
    R: Tacky-fun kuniang Cinderella shoes. L: Funky crinkly PVC & suede pumps with tarnished buckles and embroidered toes.



    How many shoes do you have under your work desk:
    I'm a freelancer. I don't have a work desk. But when I did, I had a pair of fluffy blue bedroom slippers stashed under it. They were a very thoughtful gift from an ex-colleague, the lovely Mr. J who has since left the country to spread more thoughtfulness around, as a hair stylist in Melbourne. Bless him.

    5 people I'm passing the baton to:
    5? 5?? 5??!! I don't have that many blogging friends!
    Toothless Monster - you're the only one I know with a blog and an impressive footwear stockpile!

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    Thursday, July 28, 2005

    Recovered: Some Lost Hours


    Mr P. finally called and filled in some of the gaps from last night's black hole of lost time. This is how it all went down after we sat down in the kitchen:

  • We spoke for close to an hour. I have no idea what about. He won't tell me. Says where's the fun in that, when he can keep me sitting on tacks for a while? Apparently I said some things I wouldn't ever dream of saying if I wasn't under the influence. Apparently now he knows how I really feel about certain things. Apparently I even said I couldn't be held responsible for the things I said because I'd taken a sleeping pill. One thing's for sure, I have zero recollection of that conversation. If I admit I'm a little worried, will it all go away?

  • He let me drink 3 large tumblers of Bailey's. The irresponsible git. Apparently I poured them myself. One thing's for sure, I have zero recollection of doing so.

  • He had to go to the bathroom. So did I. Apparently, he only realised I'd fallen asleep on the toilet when 10 minutes later he noticed I wasn't answering him back through the toilet door. So he raps on the door, waking me with a huge start. Apparently I slammed the slightly-ajar door shut and screamed, "WHO IS THAT?!" then, "You're still here? Because I was having the most interesting conversation in my head." One thing's for sure, I have no recollection of that happening.

  • He tried to go home. Apparently I tried to make him stay. Apparently I was eventually convinced, saw him to the door, walked to the kitchen and managed to activate the auto gate to let him out. Apparently, from downstairs, he then saw me start doing the dishes(?!). One thing's for sure, I have no recollection of washing anything.

  • From then, I somehow managed to put everything away - bottles, washed dishes and all - turn out all the lights in the hall and kitchen, and fall into bed. Apparently, up till then, I was very responsible in my doped-up state, but not responsible enough to brush my teeth, wash my face, get into my PJs or turn out my bedroom lights. Which explains how my mother found me the next morning fully-clothed, completely dead-to-the-world, lights blazing. I chose to give her an unintelligible answer when asked why like that.

  • Don't ever drink and do drugs, kids.*


  • * Mr. T, who thinks he's very funny, says yes, do one or the other. But never both. Haha.

    Wednesday, July 27, 2005

    4 Random Things that Make You Smile

    booze
    the last thing i saw before i woke up

    #1 This one not just makes me smile, it makes me cringe, fret and smile again. Last night, I became an accidental victim of too much alcohol and drugs. It started out innocently enough. Drinks at Ice Cold, then straight home. It seemed like a good idea at the time, but in retrospect... I took a sleeping pill so that I could readjust my body clock and get to bed at a decent hour. Of course, Miss Smartypants then decides to invite Mr P. over to finish off birthday bottles, since he was nearby. I wasn't going to imbibe, just watch. I remember letting him in. I remember sitting in the kitchen with him and the drinks. Then nothing. I wake up this morning at 9 (at least one thing went according to plan - body clock back in order!) feeling like an entire treeful of durians had landed on my head, wondering how on earth I got into bed when the last thing I remember is talking to P. Lost time: 8 hours.

    #2 Yesterday I was in bed typing as usual when I got a call from my mom. After talking for a bit, I noticed she was someplace echoey, so I asked her where she was. Giggling, the mother unit replied, "In the toilet!" Yes, mommy dearest had rung me in my bedroom from her loo 2 doors & 20 feet away. Is this a sign of the times? Will the way I communicate with my mom change forever? As is I don't see enough of her. Now instead of talking to me face to face, she's calling me whilst we're under the same roof? If this thought wasn't so disturbing, I'd smile even wider. But bless her, she's still getting a thrill from technology.

    #3 On Monday, yummy mummy Mrs S. gifted me with delectable little trinkets from Taiwan. Please meet the divine ANNA earrings:
    anna1
    anna2
    Thank you thank you kind lady - now pls start your blog so I can meme you!

    #4 Today was the final lesson of Level 1 Spanish. Verb conjugation is fun! Random Enrique Iglesias factoids: His last name means "churches" en Espanol. His song Bailamos means "we dance" 1st person plural conjugated from the verb "to dance/ bailar". And that, seems to be the sum of all I've learnt in the 10 weeks of lessons.
    Oh, I lie. I also have picked up some rib-tickling new corny jokes (thanks to G.)...
  • What do you call a Spanish guy who's misplaced his vehicle?
    Carlos.
  • What do you call a Spanish guy who only drives stick shift?
    Manuel.

  • Vale. Muchas Gracias. Buenas noches.

    Tuesday, July 26, 2005

    Turn! Turn! Turn!

    219
    Who would've known? That a conversation I was having with a two-year-old would turn out to be so profoundly insightful?

    Clutching her grandma's travel hair dryer, Little Miss V. allowed yours truly to hang on to the very tip of its plug-in cord. After which we played a game she came up with all on her own. The details are a little hazy, but I think the game involved us waving the hairdryer up and down from both ends and screaming the word "FOREVER" many many times in many many different ways. LMV found this intensely amusing. I found this, in her dad's wry words, "very fun"! So when I cheekily asked if I could play with the whole hair dryer for a little while, the savvy, precocious toddler said firmly:

    "NO! Today is MY turn. Today not your turn."

    And she's so right.

    In the larger scheme of things, it hasn't been my turn in a looong time. But patience is the word that rings in my head. There is a time and place for everything. We go through seasons of nothing and then seasons of lots. So yes, I am reminded that today may not be my turn, maybe not even tomorrow or the days after, but one day it WILL be MY turn. And soon.

    .......

    And then maybe I'll go back to play with the little cutie-pie just so I can say those 10 little words back to her. Haha.

    .......

    The byrdsThinking with my ears.

    Sunday, July 24, 2005

    Another Detour into Narcissism

    DSCN0005_1
    So a good friend Ms. P sent me one of those email thingies that prior to my quitting my job, I would have immediately deleted cos' I simply didn't have time to entertain stuff like that. Which just confirms that only very bored or very free people come up with and reply to them. I guess if the shoe fits... So here goes:

    Copy (not forward) this entire e-mail and paste it into a new email. Change all of the answers so that they apply to YOU. Then, send this to a whole bunch of people you know *INCLUDING* the person who sent it to you. The theory is that you will learn a lot of little known facts about your friends.

    1. First name?
    Dxxxxx.

    2. Were you named after anyone?
    Dionysus, the female version of the God of wine (my dad's mad for the stuff). It's better than almost being named Petunia (after Porky Pig's girlfriend) or Geraldine (my bro's name is Gerald) - which, I'm told were the parent's other considerations.

    3. Do you wish on stars?
    Not really, but I thank God for them.

    4. When did you last cry?
    Watching Debbie Travis' Face Lift - a Canadian home makeover programme yesterday afternoon (I'm becoming a desperate housefly). It was the episode where the children of a lovely old woman from Barbados decided to surprise her with a brand new living & dining room. She cried, they cried, I cried.

    5. Do you like your handwriting?
    Pretty much. It's the calluses (from writing) on my third and fourth fingers on my right hand I don't like.

    7. What is your birth date?
    July 3rd 1975.

    8. What is your most embarrassing CD?
    Air Supply? But I refuse to justify my taste in music! One person's cheese is another's frommage.

    9. If you were another person, would YOU be friends with you?
    Yes, but if I was a guy, I'd probably find it easier to be friends with me.

    10. Do you have a journal?
    In a book, in a blog, and also a food diary (I am freakishly obsessed with making a record of my life).

    11. Do you use sarcasm a lot?
    Is that like a cologne or something?

    12. What is your nickname?
    Den, Dern, Dee, Bud.

    13. Would you bungee jump?
    Of course, and already have. In possibly the unsafest of situations. 3am, Bali, Club 66, over a foot-deep swimming pool, inebriated, wearing a short denim skirt.

    14. Do you untie your shoes when you take them off?
    NO! Any opportunity to be lazy, I'll take it. But then again, the only shoes I own I can tie are gym ones. Open-toe heels are so much cuter.

    15. Do you think you are strong?
    No. But I think people think I am because I'm rarely emotional except behind closed doors and am very no-nonsense in dispensing advice.

    But I just had trouble unscrewing the top off my jar of pesto tho'.


    16. What is your favorite ice cream flavor?
    7684010118Not a big fan of sweets. But if I had to choose, Haagen Daz's Strawberry Cheesecake and Ben & Jerry's Pistachio Pistachio will do it for me.

    17. Shoe Size?
    UK 4, SIN 6, EUR 37.

    19. What is your least favorite thing about yourself?
    Please don't ask me that now. I'm PMSing. Until it goes away, I'm living in a self-loathing alternate reality.

    20. Who do you miss most?
    My Grandparents. The loveliest, interestingest individuals who spoiled me rotten. I never got to tell them I loved them enough, never thought to learn from them about their histories, which means I don't really have a connection with my history. So I feel a lack.

    21. Do you want everyone you send this to, to send it back?
    Not necessary, but at least 1 reply to affirm that somebody loves me, would be lovely, thank you.

    22. What color pants and shoes are you wearing?
    Oh no. The worst! I'm at home... it's a saturday night... whine... the saggiest, ugliest blue, yellow, orange, pink and green tie-dyed cotton elastic waist shorts that belong to my mom. No shoes - I'm typing in bed.

    23. What are you listening to right now?
    Bring it On on TV.

    24. Last thing you ate?
    Instant chicken noodle soup and 4 slices of cheese.

    25. If you were a crayon, what color would you be?
    Can't I be the whole box - like the kind that has a plastic holder and interchangeable crayon tips?

    26. What is the weather like right now?
    Better than before, when it was hot and very rainy. It's night time cool now.

    27. Last person you talked to on the phone?
    My old friend and cast mate from House of Chow, Nellie. She just arrived from KL on a surprise visit!

    29. Do you like the person who sent this to you?
    Like, no way, the Beeyatch! (pls see #11).

    30. Favorite Drink?
    Twinings Lady Grey Tea.

    31. Favorite Sport?
    Uh... walking to the Starbucks at Holland Village for a low fat double tall hazelnut iced latte? No? Do stairclimbing and ellipticycling at the gym count then?

    32. Hair Color?
    Black. The peroxide blonde mistakes grew out a long time ago.

    33. Eye Color?
    Brown so dark they look black.

    34. Do you wear contacts?
    No, I cannot because doctor say I have clinically dry eyes.

    35. Favorite Food?
    In an ideal, non-Atkins world, french fries, thin crust pepperoni double cheese pizza and beer (is this a food?).

    36. Last Movie You Watched?
    Downfall. German film depicting the final week of Hitler's life. Whoo hoo, a veritable party on a widescreen!

    37. Favorite Day Of The Year?
    Christmas Eve. Family, friends, food and copious amounts of alcohol.

    38. Scary Movies Or Happy Endings?
    Happy endings are too tidy, frighten me please.

    39. Summer Or Winter?
    Winter. Esp. sunny wintry days with crisp, clean air that nibbles your face. Any chance to wear a scarf, jacket and boots!

    40. Hugs OR Kisses?
    Both, but not from strangers. And definitely not the insincere "Dahhling, muah-muah" kind.

    41. What Is Your Favorite Dessert?
    I repeat, don't care much for sweets. Why isn't there a question about savouries?! I could write you a book about salty food.

    42. Who Is Most Likely To Respond?
    I shall put unnecessary pressure on... G. U have to. You're family, you're younger and because I said so. Bwahaha.

    43. Who Is Least Likely To Respond?
    P (I dare you to prove me wrong!).

    44. Living Arrangements?
    12-by-14 storeroom (by my own making - I can't seem to throw anything away) in parent's 4th floor apartment.

    45. What Books Are You Reading?
    Come Thirsty - Max Lucado, Animal Crackers - Hannah Tinti, Love in the Time of Cholera - Gabriel Garcia Marquez.

    46. What's On Your Mouse Pad?
    I don't have one. I just got a 12" ibook with one of those no-need-mouse-use-your-finger-here thingies.

    47. What Did You Watch Last night on TV?
    Aiyoh... I watched too much to list. I will say that I had to stop my Kingdom of Heaven DVD 10 mins in cos' it wasn't as exciting as I'd hoped it would be. Am determined to try watching it again, maybe I just wasn't in the mood. Not in the mood for Orlando Bloom?! I need a head check!

    48. Favorite Smells?
    Boots Vanilla Sugar Nectarine Bath Milk, Body Shop Milk shower cream, that caffeine blast you get when you walk into a cafe, petrol fumes, Davidoff Cool Water on male necks, Mom's cookiing.

    49. Favorite Sounds?
    Live music with lots of guitars, someone calling to say, "I miss you, let's meet up" and means it & total silence (all in equal doses).

    50. Rolling Stones or Beatles?
    Beatles. No contest. I was raised on the Fab Four, can?

    51. What's the furthest you've been from home?
    Toss up between Prague and Cape Town, so being a geek, I googled both: respectively, 6003 miles (9661 km) (5217 nautical miles) & 6117 miles (9844 km) (5316 nautical miles) from Singapore. Oops, forgot... New York wins: 9534 miles (15343 km) (8285 nautical miles) away from S'pore. It looks like I'm bragging here, so what the hey, I might as well add Iceland to the list. Reykjavik - 7150 miles (11507 km) (6213 nautical miles) - is my next travel destination in Aug/ Sept.

    52. Do you have a special talent?
    I can drive and apply a full face of makeup at the same time?

    53. What is your cell ring tone?
    Something quiet, discreet, and sounds like a phone, not techno tinkling or a man shouting in Hokkien or anything like that.

    Saturday, July 23, 2005

    Hoy Nuevo!*

    new beginnings
    I turned THIRTY on July 3rd and panicked.
    Now I know - if I don't want to feel like a failure maybe I need to do something about everything.
    So...

  • This is the year I will stop wasting time.
  • This is the year I will not procrastinate.
  • This is the year I will not be afraid to move.
  • This is the year I will ask less questions and do more of the things I've always wanted to do.
  • This is the year I will learn html (& I'm getting there).
  • This is the year I will master the Spanish language.
  • This is the year I will like what I see in the mirror.
  • This is the year I will be able to wear white pants without feeling like I should be selling Billboard space off my ass.


  • * New Today!

    ** By the way, humour me - drop me a comment and let me know if the changes to the blog are good ones. I need constant affirmation - Yes! Yes! Pink is way girly, but they didn't have the exact shade of tiffany blue I would've gone for.

    Thursday, July 21, 2005

    Overheard


    On the set, we talked about celebrities who blogged and other bloggers who need to enlarge their own mean little existences by ripping apart other people's blogs.

    It got tense.

    I didn't know what else to say.

    And an awkward silence pervaded the freezing room.


    Then she let slip this little nugget:

    There was this other time we were all talking about blogs and this other jiang-hua-yu-only actress came walking by and asked us what we were discussing. "Blogs," we replied, then couldn't resist giggling, " Bet you dunno what is blog!". JHYO actress very offendedly replied, "Of course I know! Blogband, lor!"

    Gotta love our birthright to bad english. Singlish makes me proud.

    Another eave I happened to drop, this time from 2 dudes bonding over NS:

    Dude 1: "Ohrrrr... so you now no need go for reservist. But last time what was your mother unit?"
    Dude 2: ".... 1 SIR... Ey, just now sound like you scold me leh."
    Dude 1: "Where got?
    Dude 2: "Your maah-der unit!"


    So now I have a new swear phrase to test out in stressful times.

    Eat that last cookie I was saving, will you? YOUR MAAH-DER UNIT!
    Tape over my latest episode of CSI, will you? YOUR MAAH-DER UNIT!
    Cut into my lane without signalling, will you? YOUR MAAH-DER UNIT!

    Wednesday, July 20, 2005

    Sadness

    Been thinking a lot about Leeds lately and people I knew. People I've lost contact with but think of often.

    Thinking about people I know now who aren't having a very good time.

    Sometimes I hate the "human experience", the one that assumes we all share in a common pain. Pardon me for being the Grinch, but I had the misfortune of catching 2 inane teenage angst songs back to back on the radio today. No wonder I look back to my own teenage years and shudder - what kind of the sentimental drivel do teenagers get off on?

    Bad Charlotte's We Believe (check this - How do they sleep at night/ How can we make things right/ Just wanna make this right - whoo hoo, classic song-writing! almost as good as NKOTB's Tonight lyrics, "We met alot of people and girls...").

    My ears bleed with Simple Pleurgh's Untitled - As I'm fading away/ I'm sick of this life/ I just wanna scream/ How could this happen to me (oh, cry me a @#$% river, you millionaire rock stars!).

    So many alleged punk rockers screech about being in pain but they've barely scratched the surface. Where is the depth? Where is the mystery? We hear all these "painful" songs on the radio and suddenly we feel we're all one in our collective pain and therefore we can whine about it to other people?

    But then why is it even I have to admit that sometimes that same "human experience" can bring some temporary comfort?

    Life pulls us in opposite directions all the time. We love what we hate and hate what we love. The paradox we live in doesn't allow us to be whole. Always, we exist as fragments.

    *******

    So again, I watch from the wings, incapable of offering up what you need to hear.

    And then I remember what Leah from the Leeds days once told me - wise words from Bob Marley's Redemption Song:

    "Emancipate yourselves from mental slavery/ None but ourselves can free our minds."

    I cannot make things better for you. YOU have to choose to do things for yourself.

    *******

    And Leah, hippie chick, strong woman, lipstick feminist, wherever you are, I remember.

    Tuesday, July 19, 2005

    Tongue-tingling Happiness

    Skittles bubble gum from the divine Miss Y's trip to Seattle

    PMS is no fun, neither is the lingering cloud of gloom that stubbornly refuses to leave me.
    So I'll take a pick-me-up in any form, even if it comes in a shiny, red, 10-by-3cm package!
    And I'll thank God for little blessings just when I need 'em.

    Monday, July 18, 2005

    This is Love at First Sight



    Name: Lucas L.

    Born: 8.05am, 18 July 2005.

    Loved: By me.

    Sunday, July 17, 2005

    Births & BayBeats

    1. Happy Birthday to my best friend Ms E. who went into labour earlier today with Baby #1. Love you! Hang in there, mommy!

    2. I love Fireworks. Even better against a soundscape of live alternative and indie music @ the Esplanade. Rock on, Verical Rush, Surreal, Brandtson, Copeland, Furniture, I am David Sparkle and Pop Tart.







    Friday, July 15, 2005

    Ratatatatat-tat

    I once had a drummer.

    He was all legs and arms. Especially arms. We didn't talk much. He banged out our conversations to a secret beat he kept in his head. I never knew what went on in there. Sometimes he ratatatat-tated his secret rhythm on me.

    A man beat on me and I liked it?

    I also like live music.

    Wednesday, July 13, 2005

    Yesterday, Meet Today


    Leeds.

    Home of my Alma Mater, home of Elland Road and now home of terrorists?
    What the @#$%^&*?!

    In Hyde Park, a poor, racially and ethnically diverse neighborhood not far from Leeds University, police cordoned off rows of rundown, two-storey homes and streets filled with local shops and liquor stores.
    "This is the only area in Leeds where blacks, Asians and Sikhs get along. Now, because of what happened even friends are looking at me as if I am a terrorist," said Amjad Hussein, 19, standing with friends on one of the streets that was cordoned off.
    About 40 residents evacuated from their homes had to spend the night at a local community center when it became clear that the search of the a row house that had been raided by police would last through the night. - CNN



    The Hyde Park Area that I remember was your typical studenty, divey area known for its many break-ins and muggings. But having your door kicked in and your TV set carted away seems trite now, an "Oh-yeah-well-nothing-beats-the-time-when-I" tale to regale friends with.

    The sweet nostalgia I have for the place I called home for 3 years collides clumsily, chillingly with this new "update-on-bomb-attacks" Leeds.

    Today I ache for my adopted city. I know the place I knew is gone forever. It has taken on new meaning.

    Monday, July 11, 2005

    The Birthday A-Z (Work-in-Progress)


    A - Alcohol. Copious amounts thereof. Absynth is so overrated. Tastes like mouthwash... probably was! Add to that many beers, wine & cocktails at Caprice & Happy... Nothing. So this is what middle-age feels like... Sober. Very.

    B - Birthdays. My Surprising 30th and P's Scarleting 27th. Other people's birthdays I can handle, have fun at even. How come my own (albeit cunningly planned & lovingly executed) has left me in a bit of a daze. Why must I be a walking mid-life crisis cliche and experience such trepidation at leaving my 20s behind? Why do I feel like such a big fat failure? Have I achieved the things I set out to achieve? Bah. (also see E.)

    C - Cake, an over-abundance thereof. One on 2/7 from Coffee Bean & Tea Leaf ( I forget what it is. Ironically, didn't get to eat any of my own B-day cake).
    Two cakes on 9/7 from Bakerzin - Coeur Noir (See Right: Layers of dark chocolate mousse and sacher sponge, with brandy cherries and hazelnut dacquoise at the base).
    And from Prego - Double Belgian Chocolate Praline. Much snarfing of said cakes precedes many a diabetes-scented burrrrrrp.


    D - Dawn. The magic, melancholy hour. When the last of the revellers have passed out/ gone home/ to bed and you're finally alone. And the silence brings deafening but comforting relief. And you gather the ruby-stained glasses, line them up on the counter-top and make a wish, one for every year each gleaming glass represents. Then you make tea, drink it and climb into bed, turn out the lights and stare hard at the shadows on the ceiling.

    E - Expectations. The reason why we walk around morosely from time to time, taking stock and not liking what we see. I feel like a major loser if I allow myself to dwell on false expectations (from myself and from other people). Look, I'm 30. Shouldn't I be married with kids, have a fulfilling career, be making yea amount of dollars, making the parents happy with all my achievements? Shouldn't my relationships with people and God have stabilised by now? Why am I still a paranoid, neurotic mess? The answer is because I allow myself to. The answer is expectations.


    F - Festival of Carbs Magnet Set.
    One of my fave pressies, cos'
    if you can't eat 'em, wear 'em!
    With hearty thanks to the carberiffic Misters P & B.


    G - G. The party planner extraordinaire, the secret agent in the making. Thank you. Love you.

    H - Hotel. Raffles the Plaza (Heellooo IOC officials!) complete with much ordering of room service for my Birthday. The Scarlet for P.'s, complete with decadent, campy, pint-sized suite plus attached hot tub deck (see also J). Upon check-in, was told that if I were a bedroom, I would be the Passion Suite. Excuse me but can you don't mind? Which part of me looks like a hot tub deck?

    J - Jacuzzi. Call us victims of Reality TV - Temptation Island, The Bachelor, MTV The Real World... everybody loves a hot-tub (who knows what those bubbles are getting up to below the surface?!). Many an allegedly shy party-goer could not resist a dip. By day, a cold brewski is all the accessory you need. I, however under oath never to be a menace to polite society, chose to descend upon said Jacuzzi under cover of night, when most had gone home. Add generous glugs of bubble bath and yippee, we got ourselves a foam party, folks!

    L - London. Guaranteed sobering effect on any party. My dear, dear Ingerlund friends, I love you, miss you, think of you. Often.

    M - Make-up. A necessary part of pre-pub primping. With the precision of a factory assembly line, a mini-queue formed at the bathroom, where armed with pens, powders and potions, I waited to pounce on the unsuspecting, unpainted faces of G., J., S. & P.

    N - Naked. I have theory, even more substantiated by the hotel hot tub episode: When one gets past a certain weight, one (ok,ok, ME lah!) looks much better in the buff. No clothes to pinch you, grab you, swathe you, squeeze you or dig into your fleshly excesses. So I vote everybody get nekkid!

    O - Over-eating. 2 weeks of this overindulgence has taken its toll on my spare tyres. But who can resist a post-party, morning-after (more like tunch, but we woke up late, what!) pig-out session? Brewerkz turned out to be our target and we inhaled plate after plate of double cheese nachos, white bait, fish and chips, potato skins, mussels, bratwurst and mash smothered in gravy, all washed down with pints of homebrew.

    P - Prancing/ Dancing Pussy. Starring the schizo crotch of Mr E. Don't ask.

    R - Rock Stars invaded my home. Ok, wannabes came to celebrate the passing of my 29th year. Spotted: Joan Jett, Steven Tyler, Gwen Stefani, Bo Bice, Phil Collins, Sid Vicious, Fran Healey and other assorted popstars like Beyonce, Jimmy Ray(??), J-Lo, Posh Spice, Justin Timberlake, Britney Spears, Mariah Scarey and William Hung(!).

    S - Surreal Surprise. I thought I would love a surprise more. But after being duped, stuffed with food, booze and shouts of Happy Birthday, I still can't quite process it. Maybe it's the old expectations creeping in again. Is there a way to react? Can I be stuck in this surreal state for a while? Haiyah... Watch this space for updates from the Queen of Delayed Reactions.

    T - The Sound of Music. Julie Andrew, the Alps, Captain Von Trapp, WWII, 7 children, my favourite things... lovely way to spend the rest of out hotel time till check out. Finally managed to watch this musical its entirety. My Hills are aliiiiiive with the sound of Muuuuuuuuuusic!!!!

    X - X-Ray Parte Tres. Am wholly convinced that TB Clinic really wants my $$. After receiving phonecall to please go down for the X-Ray, you are already 1 week overdue, they resort to (gasp!) calling my mother and telling on me.

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