Take a Deetour

"I write to find out what I think." - Joan Didion

Monday, June 27, 2005

Madam A - Z

A - AIDS. Cannot be caught from furniture. If the New Paper article today wasn't so offensive, the quote may almost be funny.

B - Blogs, bloggers & secret lives. I know quite a few people who spill their guts online on their blogs. Blogs which I obviously have easy access to, but we never ever discuss our problems when we meet. Is there some secret blogger ettiquette I'm not aware of? Like: I know you know my deepest, darkest secrets, but please don't ask me if I'm ok to my face. So we meet, eat, drink beer, laugh and stay safely distanced from each other.

C - Close encounters of the unwanted kind. Eeew. I like hugs, I like the human touch, but not when random sweaty strangers brush up against you on a perfectly wide pavement. It's like please do not rub your epithelia and bacteria and perspiration on my delicate skin, thank you very much. Especially eewsome when you can actually feel random stranger's sweat evaporating off your skin.

D - Dirty Hair. Big believer in leaving things unwashed for as long as possible. Hold your breath... 3 days and counting so far. Hahahahahaha.

E - Eulogy. "Do you know who you can count on to give a fitting eulogy at your funeral?" We were talking about friends. True friends, friends who know you through and through. I don't know the eulogy answer. I really don't. Because very few get let in. VERY few.

F - Faith. Or loss there of. That's when you are most vunerable, most fragile, most insecure. It's not how you look, but what you feel. And when you feel like shit, or you have zero confidence, everything crumbles.

G - God. Wondering who YOU are and why it's so hard to stay close to YOU.

H - Help. Of the self variety. Very touchy-feely, but feel restless and stuck in a place I don't want to be - physically and emotionally. Thinking and reading about how to make changes pronto.

I - In My Father's Den. Just saw this New Zealand flick that simmers. One-line synopsis: A disillusioned war photographer rediscovers hope in a surprising friendship with a teenage girl who mysteriously disappears. Very slow to start, but stays with you for a long time after. Poetic, painful, sad, intense, deep, frightening.

J - James Blunt. Thank you Mr W. for turning me on to him. If Damien Rice and Tracy Chapman had a love child...

K - Klutz. Am berating self for extreme clumsiness. For those with graphic imaginations, picture, if you will, me sitting cross-legged on bed typing away when my big toenail gets caught on the edge of the scab on my calf... Yeeeoowwtch! Rips it off, leaves it hanging by a sliver of skin and gushing blood. Also, dropped my brand new digicam last week and busted it. Hence blurry phone camera pix.

L - Links. Try this: Is Tom Cruise Crazy? Made me laugh. And cringe.

M - Miranda. Have been told by more than one (so it must be true!) that I most resemble this Sex in the City chick. Awkward, Abrasive, Ball-busting?! Say it isn't so! Actually, it's her push-people-away, strike-first-in-case-you-get-struck qualities that remind them of me. Bah. Truth hurts, eh?

N - Nails. Also see K. General count, have broken left pinkie and fourth fingernails, and only just snapped off tip of right fourth fingernail. Is this a sign of vitamin deficiency? Nails don't just rip and break like that.
jagged little pinkie

O - Oprah. Arrgghh! I'm such a nerd when it comes to her O magazine (file under H too, please) and her show (but only the wildest dreams and makeover episodes).

P - Pedometer. 10,000 steps a day is the bare minimum. Being my usual overachieving self, I've clocked a whopping 3,596 steps today. Am embracing my inner sloth.

Q - Quotes. Love 'em, collect 'em. Quote of a week (see I): "I'd rather be no one somewhere than someone nowhere." Hmmm... Want to run away. I'm nowhere but feel like all eyes are on me being a failure, need to be elsewhere, please, somewhere without the baggage.

R - Rock n Roll, baby! Namely, Patti Smith and her seminal album Horses (thanks to the incredible soundtrack of In My Father's Den, which also features lots of Mazzy Star). Think underarm hair, sublime poetry and music that makes your heart beat a little faster.

S - Supper & Sleep. In an ideal world, the more the better of each.

T - Transformation. Am badly in need of one. Stuck in a rut, need to make big changes.

U - Umbrellas. In one week, I have lost 2 umbrellas to that great black hole that follows me wherever I go. Am most upset because one was the Batman Begins umbrella I only just got from the premiere.

V - Venting. Is dangerous for me because I always end up saying the wrong thing and making the ventee upset. Learn to hold thy tongue, woman!

W - World-weary. Tired of being here, living the same life, breathing the same air.

X - X-Ray Part 2. The saga continues. Still dunno about the TB cos' I've been advised by my GP NOT to go for the X-ray cos' they really will cheat my mah-nee (ironically, my GP is also my dad). Therefore I remain in TB limbo.

Y - Yellow-bellied. As in the opposite of courageous. I'm afraid to move. Guess admitting it is a step forward.

Z - Zest of orange with herbs. Forming a golden tangy crust over little broiled lamb chops. Yum scrum!

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