Take a Deetour

"I write to find out what I think." - Joan Didion

Friday, January 28, 2005

Waitress is a Four-letter Word

I'm at my fave magazine haunt when ladyboss comes over to chat.

LB: So now you quit your job, what you up to?

Me: Oh I'm part-timing at Peach Blossom now.

(Stunned silence)

LB: Oh wow, ya I know, I like it there.

Me: You've been before?

LB: The food there's great.

Me: Hah?

LB: You mean the one at that hotel right?

Me: No, I work at a media company called Peach Blossom.

LB: (Nervous giggles) I'm so sorry, I thought you were serving food!

The absurdity of the situation. As is, being semi-unemployed is not great for my self-esteem. It's not that I'm too good to be a waitress. Dammit. I think it sounds like I do. I guess if I was a waitress, I'd say I was a waitress. Her apologies made me feel like I should be embarrassed to be a waitress.

Thursday, January 27, 2005

Out-of-Work DJ Finds Nirvana

OK, I'm am unabashed music snob, but this comes close to perfection (close only cos' the DJs get in the way of the music - i know, i know, for those in the know, ironic, eh?)...

* Instant Ear Candy (albeit in mono - for the aurally atas, click here and figure it out yourself!)
** With hearty kowtows to Cleversponge's impeccable ear.

Really, my word should be good enough, but this sample playlist should convince any self-respecting muso:

Songs featured in the last six hours
11:00 am - 12:00 pm
Buffalo Tom - Sodajerk Trip Shakespear - Pearle Bonnie 'Prince' Billy - Hard Life Ash - Goldfinger Low - California Kings of Convenience - Misread The Beautiful South - You Keep It All In
10:00 am - 11:00 am
Sugarcubes, The - Motor Crash Le Tigre - After Dark A.C. Newman - Miracle Drug Memphis Minnie - I'm A Bad Luck Woman Jolie Holland - Sascha Frou Frou - Breathe In Bebel Gilberto - August Day Song Billie Holiday - Solitude Devo - Uncontrollable Urge Cloud Cult - Radio Fodder Black Rebel Motorcycle Club - Love Burns The Pogues - A Pair Of Brown Eyes Joseph Arthur - Can't Exist Luna - Malibu Love Nest Broken Social Scene - Love And Mathematics 9:00 am - 10:00 am Elliott Smith - Alameda Ten Ton Bridge - Eager to Please The Postal Service - Such Great Heights Patsy Cline - Crazy Arcade Fire - Neighborhood 1 Tunnels Handsome Boy Modeling School - Breakdown (feat. Jack Johnson) R.L. Burnside - Just Like A Woman The Jayhawks - I'm Still Dreaming, Now I'm Yours Julian Cope - World Shut Your Mouth Zuzu's Petals - God Cries Damien Rice - Amie Roxy Music - Avalon Tom Waits - Day After Tomorrow Pinback - Fortress R.E.M. - The One I Love


*****************

On a different frequency, last night I dreamt I went to a Hollywood movie premiere, dressed like a rock star, walking down the red carpet, bulbs flashing, arm-in-arm with Lindsay Lohan (on the left) and Kate Moss (who mysteriously turned into Paris Hilton just as we entered the movie theatre). Both proceeded to behave very badly i.e. run up and down aisles, tossing popcorn and releasing giggles/ squeals, while I tried to apologise to other cinema patrons.

What does it all mean? I'm hideously embarrassed.

Wednesday, January 26, 2005

World Expo 2005

Oh please, let it be me!
In spirit of patriotism and oh, ok, pure self-interest (I've never been to Aichi, Nagoya or for that matter, anywhere else in Japan), I am willing to don a national costume, sing, dance and prance in a pavillion before the eyes of politicians, business people and tourists from across this great green globe.

Grumpily cute mascots - trust the Japanese...
What these lil guys have to do with the countries of the world we can only guess...


I can't read Japanese - do these fellas have names?
Yes, apparently. Please being happy to meet... Morizzo and Kiccoro.

Pain in Neck has Travelled to Other Side

What a brain wave, right?
Decided to train left hand to use mouse, thus turning self into super-ambidextrous, 21st century blogging hipster.


How quickly we are brought back down to earth. Gravity. Groovy. Groan.

Tuesday, January 25, 2005

Carpal Tunnel Syndrome

I think I'm damaging myself just by being here.

No less than 5 people have told me I have an unhealthy relationship with my computer.
Of the 5 people who are trying to break us up, S. probably is most qualified to comment. He's my accupressurist. Gosh! How tai-tai does that sound?! My accupressurist.

So I'm lying facedown on the massage table, trying not to let my snot splat from nose to concrete floor when he grabs my right arm and says: " Ni de arm hen stiff leh."

Me: "Uh-oh..."

S. applying more pressure: "Ya, your arm bu zhi dao why. You do what hah?"

Me (in my head): "If I was a guy, you probably wouldn't have to ask."
Me (out loud): "Er, I think wo yong na ge mouse tai duo, lah."

S. snorts and is quiet for a while.

Should I explain? What if he thinks I mean a real mouse, as in lao shu/ tikus/ rodent?

S. breaks silence with a lecture on how everything in the body is connected, so if my fingers hurt, the pain will affect my wrist, which travels up my forearm to my shoulder and that's why I have a pain in my neck.


Oh yes, I have a pain in my neck, but it's got nothing to do with my fingers.

Can You Sing That Song From Chess?

Possibly the highlight of recent weekend trip to the Land of a Thousand Smiles.
Nothing quite beats being almost 250m above ground, sipping white wine on the balcony of the Sky Bar in the State Tower, on one of the coldest nights in Bangkok at least for this time of the year - 18 degrees celsius). Click for stunning day-time view.

One Night in Bangkok... sky bar skyline
Click for or someone else's better pictures.

Shaky Hands


That's what I call raising the Bar - not me, hor... Look behind - good enough to eat.


view from siam bts station


BKK or Bust

Monday, January 24, 2005

Vodka is so, like, this morning!

Delicious at night - Pink Martini's new album Hang on Little Tomato.

Click on icon for an instant ear tickling!

My Kind of Valentine


Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
but if you're color blind,
are you really sure?
- Adrian Speyer

Dorothy Bloody Gave Me Something

And by the way, Manuka Honey Vodka with Gingerbeer is awesome.

Manuka Mule

60ml 42 BELOW Manuka Honey Vodka
4 mint leaves
30ml lime juice
Topped with ginger beer

Glass: Collins
Method: Built and smashed in a Collins glass filled with ice.
-- Claire Saffery, Tony Starr's Kitten Club, Melbourne

Dorothy Parker is a Psychic Lush

I hate writing; I love having written.
- Dorothy Parker



22 more days...
4 days overdue...

All I see are deadlines, numbers and letters of the alphabet.

I seriously have a commitment problem, not just to my writing, but to pretty much everything else.
So I find solace, sweet solace in procrastination. I can't write this thing. I don't know anything about "Lurrvve". How can I write what I don't know?

I now, however, do have $256 worth of new but useless Swedish home furnishings, an impeccably tidy bedroom/ bathroom/ accessories drawer and have drunk more tea than a room full of little old English ladies.

I also have a sparkling workstation and have done about 10 different online "Love Quizzes" - for research purposes only, of course. But it brings me no closer to actually getting down and writing something.

Dorothy, bloody give me something!

I wonder if 42 Below Manuka Honey Vodka will make the words flow?

Saturday, January 22, 2005

Dum-dum-dah-dum...

I have 2 very cool friends who are engaged. They don't know when they're getting married, how they're getting married and aren't gonna set a date yet. Not because they're lazy, or all "this-is-the-21st-century-we-don't-need-a-piece-of-paper" nonchalant. They follow a higher purpose, they heed a higher call. In this I have utmost respect. In this I find inspiration.


Dum-dum-dah-dum...


But as the numbers fly off my calendar - 24 more days to go - I'm thankful my dad was born then. Because I've never had to worry about red roses, chocolate, candlelit dinners and other such cliches. Because I don't have to wait till Valentines' to feel lonely - hah. Because anyone can still feel lonely even when they have someone.
I talk of cliches, but that's one of the big ones - Feeling lonely even when we're not alone.
But cliches exist because of collective experience - we really are not alone. Pain is not a unique undertaking. Human existence can be such a cliche.
So here's another one - I'm recording it for posterity, aren't I?

Friday, January 21, 2005

Verbal Vomit

1) Inadequacy is a feeling that has become too constant. I hate that.

2) Too many blogs are available for my greedy eyes. More than they can take in.

3) My natural talent is that I am naturally jealous of talent that is not mine.

4) All this is tied to the fact that I read too many blogs and there's a heck of a lot of pretentious verbal vomit hurling across the information highway we call the internet.

5) Who are we all trying to impress? Even writing has become a performance, it cannot capture absolute truth, why do we try?

6) And yet as I navigate, trying not to step in someone else's puddle of sick, I fall into a whole vat of it - my own sick. And I'm sick of it!

7) Because I cannot come close to the rare examples of beauty and eloquence of expression I find on ocassion.

8) So what? So what? SO WHAT? I am unrefined, uncouth and uninspired. SO WHAT?

Wednesday, January 19, 2005

Blue...

... music and alcoholic beverages.

Two Words: Dianne Reeves.
Divine Diva. Diva Divine. Pitch Perfect. Effortless. Moving.

Sitting in the dark, in the Esplanade Concert Hall with eyes closed, letting that voice seep in, I could've died happy right then and there, no joke.

But since I'm still alive many hours later, i may as well admit I feel frickin' inadequate... To mime one infamous local Jazz "diva", *Denise slits wrists with blunt fork* (eating utensil my own saddistic addition).

Three songs stuck:

1. Blue Prelude
http://www.diannereeves.com/audio/that/prelude.ram

2. In Your Eyes
(jazzed up 1986 Peter Gabriel hit)
all my instincts, they return and the grand facade, so soon will burn
without a noise, without my pride I reach out from the inside in your eyes
the light the heat in your eyes
I am complete in your eyes
I see the doorway to a thousand churches in your eyes
the resolution of all the fruitless searches in your eyes

3. Better Days
http://www.diannereeves.com/audio/palo/better.ram
I'd say how can I be sure
What is right or wrong
And why does What I want
Always take so long
Please tell me
Where does God live
And why won't He talk to me

You can't get to no
Better days
Unless you make it
Through the night (baby)
Oh ho, you will see
Those better days
But you gotta be patient
Child, do you hear me, yeah
Well, well, well, well
You can't get to no, no
Better days
Unless you make it
Through the night

I made it through last night.
Probably cos' I haven't slept at all.

Saturday, January 15, 2005

Living is Dying is Living

Today I stared both life and death in the face. The world is a confusing, wonderful, frightening place.

I held a baby boy in my arms, breathed his babysoft scent, stroked his babysoft skin and pretty much oohed and ahhed my way through the entire experience.

I held the hand of a dying woman, tried not to inhale the scent of Dettol, medicines & cancer, stroked her babysoft skin, closed my eyes and prayed for God to ease her into His arms soon.


"Life is not lost by dying; life is lost minute by minute, day by dragging day, in all the thousand small uncaring ways."
- StephenVincent Benét
(with thanks to A sentence Uttered)

Friday, January 14, 2005

THE SPLICE GIRLS IN SHOCK-HORROR SPLIT!

Something's rotten in the state of SpliceWorld and Denise Daily has the scoop!
Sources close to the legendary girlband say it's splitsville for the volatile, but talented young ingenues, as their management company, Fry Entertainment, struggles to keep this shocker under wraps.
However, this mammoth face-saving campaign has proved no match for your favourite daily - here are all the juicy details in this 6-part exclusive...
The Splice Girls - all smiles in better times (file picture).

Minutes Before Catastrophe



Having a laugh... was it all an act?

How The Splice Girls Became The SPLICED Girls


The cracks began to show at a recent glamorous photoshoot for famous fashion bible Herpes Bizarre. Murmers on the set revealed that each Splice Girl "seemed to be in different worlds of their own".

(L-R) An impatient diva lead singer, a rampantly stoned bassist, an indifferent drummer and an annoyingly cute tambourine-shaker.


Gorgeous Herpes Bizarre Photoshoot Turns Ugly



The usually dulcet-toned lead singer was overheard shrilly spitting these venomous words to her unsuspecting bandmates: "You bimbos can take your dumb, pointy Splicehat and shove it up your a****!!".


Splice Girls Split - Drink & Drugs to Blame?


More murmers from the now infamous photoshoot: a source close to bassist (and sometime flautist) Miss Tigi-Dumdumdumdum-Danke, told Denise Daily that she's fighting a losing battle against illegal substances and has continued an all-consuming love affair with one Mr Jack Daniels for years.
At one point, Jones was "so out of it" that she continued swigging and puffing, oblivious to the situation that had swiftly dissolved into complete chaos around her.

The girls scratching, pinching and shrieking expletives at each other. The fight soon turned vicious and ugly, as the girls tussled over one gold Splice Girls band-hat.
Even the usually indifferent drummer, Miss Shama-Lama-Bam, lost her cool and joined in the catfight.


"Sayonara, Senoritas!" Says Solo-singing Lead


The final straw that broke the proverbial camel's back was lead singer Miss Divavava-Voom's apparent lack of respect for her fellow bandmates, choosing to don a (gasp!) different and garishly spotted hat, instead of the matching gold Splicehat to complete that fan-favourite look they've made famous the world over. A move that many insiders say is symbolic of the power-struggle that has tainted this pop-fairytale. Many claim it was just a matter of time before fame-hungry Miss D broke away to sniff out a solo career.


Miss D (Lead Singer): "I'm so losing this sorry joint!"
Miss T (Bassist): "Joint? Where?"


Post-bitchslapping-catfight, Miss D was seen storming out with her coveted Gap mock-suede Hobo bag in tow, as perky princess of the group, Miss Gin-Ginninny-Gingingeroo (a.k.a G-Lo) swiftly found new use for the discarded Splicehat.
Could this mark the start of a new fashion trend? Surely the precocious Miss G doesn't need the extra support for her own perky pecs?

Watch this space, faithful followers of Denise Daily...

Thursday, January 13, 2005

New Year, Old Friends

Ni dui wo xiao xi xi, Wo dui ni xiao ha ha...


Sue & Den circa 1981 - Mak Neneks from Nan Yang You Zi Yuan

Dang wo men dou zai yi qi, zai yi qi, zai yi qi
Dang wo men dou zai yi qi, zhen quai le wu bi...

Wednesday, January 12, 2005

Ouch

Too much of it. Too many struggle.
And I remain detached, watching from a safe distance.
I feel bad for not feeling bad enough.
From debt to unemployment to brain tumours to breakups to broken dreams and broken hearts, I watch from a safe distance.
There are so many feelings around, too many for me to add my own into the mix. And so I am numb & frustrated.

Tuesday, January 11, 2005

Flanked by Fags


New Year at The Scarlet

Merry Craaash-mas!


Another successful Christmas Eve at the Tan's...

Sunday, January 09, 2005

Being Sarky


"Whatever coaxes us out of hiding, to write, record, and express, is a revolutionary act. It says that we believe our lives count: our lives do count." - SARK

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Saturday, January 08, 2005

Birthday Face for the Birth of a Blog

July 3rd 2004 : Barstop

Flaming Lambourghini Face

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Friday, January 07, 2005

Joy to the world, my BLOG has come...

Muneru Valiba....


39 down, 5 more shows to go...

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